How to Spot a Dating Scam
Romance scams work by building trust first and asking for money later. Knowing the pattern makes it much easier to step back in time. This guide lists the most common warning signs and what to do if you recognise them.
Fast emotional escalation
Declarations of love, talk of marriage or a “soulmate” connection within days are a classic tactic. Genuine relationships usually build more slowly, and a person who truly cares will accept that you want to take your time.
Avoiding verification
Be cautious if the person always has a reason not to video call, will not meet, or sends only a few polished photos. Ask for a live video call early. You can also run a reverse image search on their pictures to check whether they appear under other names.
Stories that end with a request for money
The details change, but the shape is the same: a sudden emergency, a customs fee, a medical bill, a blocked bank account, a plane ticket to visit you. The request may come after weeks of friendly conversation. A rule that protects you: never send money to someone you have not met in person, however convincing the story.
Investment and crypto pressure
Someone you met online who steers the conversation to cryptocurrency, trading apps or “guaranteed” returns is a major red flag. Never move money to platforms they recommend, and never buy gift cards or send transfers on their behalf.
Isolation and secrecy
Scammers often ask you to keep the relationship secret or tell you that friends and family “do not understand”. Talking to someone you trust is one of the best protections you have.
Moving off the platform
Pressure to leave the dating platform for private messaging apps removes the safety and reporting tools of the original site. Keep early conversations on the platform where possible.
Protect yourself from the start
- Use a unique password and, where offered, two-step verification.
- Do not share your address, workplace, ID documents or bank details.
- Do not send intimate images; they can be used for blackmail.
- Meet in public places and tell a friend where you are.
What to do if you think you are being scammed
Stop sending money, keep screenshots and payment records, and do not delete the conversation. Report the profile to the platform and contact your bank straight away if you have sent funds. Report the fraud to your national service, such as the FTC in the United States or Action Fraud in the UK, and speak to someone you trust. Being targeted is not your fault; these schemes are designed by professionals.
Frequently asked questions
Can a verified profile still be a scam?
Yes. Verification reduces risk but does not remove it. Judge behaviour as well as badges.
Is it a scam if they live far away?
Distance alone is not a warning sign. What matters is whether they refuse to video call and whether money or investments come into the conversation.